by Bonnie Calhoun

Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!

Let's continue. We've been working on Dialogue Mechanics.

Here are some dialogue faux pas...

"I hate to admit that," he grimaced.

"Come closer," she smiled.

"So you've changed your mind," he chuckled.

To use verbs like these three for speaker attributions is to brand yourself as an amateur...And to stick your character with an action that is physically impossible. No one outside of hack fiction has ever been able to grimace or smile or chuckle a sentence!

We're all in favor of choosing exactly the right verb for the action, but when you're writing speaker attributions the right verb is nearly always said.

The reason those well-intentioned attempts at variety don't work is that verbs other than said tend to draw attention away from the dialogue.

There are other ways to keep your speaker attributions transparent. Don't open a paragraph of dialogue with the speaker attribution. Instead, start a paragraph with dialogue and place the speaker attribution at the first natural break in the first sentence. ("I disagree," he said. "Plungers have...)

Place the character's name or pronoun first in a speaker attribution ("Dave said"). Reversing the two ("said Dave"), though often done, is less professional. It has a slightly old-fashioned, first-grade-reader flavor ("Run spot, run" said Jane.)

After all, "said he" fell out of favor sometime during the Taft administration...LOL!

CHECKLIST:

First check your dialogue for explanations. It may help to take a highlighter and mark every place where an emotion is mentioned outside of dialogue.

Cut the explanations and see how the dialogue reads without them. Better? Worse? If it's worse, then start rewriting your dialogue.

As long as you have your highlighter out, mark every -ly adverb. How many are there? How many of them are based on an adjective describing an emotion? You can probably do without most of them.

How about your speaker attributions? Any physical impossibilities? Any verbs other than said? Remember though, there are occasional exceptions, even innocuous verbs like replied or answered lack the unobtrusiveness of said.

Can you get rid of some of your speaker attributions entirely? Just drop them and see if it's still clear who is speaking.

Have you started a paragraph with a speaker attribution?

Name before noun ("Renni said") rather than the other way around ("said Renni")?

Have you referred to a character more than one way in the same scene (using different forms of their name)?

Ellipses for gaps, dashes for interruptions, right? (I'm very bad at this one, right Mimi?)

How often have you paragraphed your dialogue? Try paragraphing a little more often and see how it reads.

by Bonnie Calhoun

Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!

Let's continue. Today we'll be working on Dialogue Mechanics.

A quick review of yesterday reveals that if you're like most beginning writers, you write sentences like, "You can't be serious," she said in astonishment.

And you probably write them without thinking! What could be easier than simply to tell your readers how a character feels? If she is astonished, you just say so. It saves time and trouble!

It's also lazy writing. When your dialogue is well written, describing your characters' emotions to your readers is just as patronizing as a playwright running onto the stage and explaining things to the audience!

If your dialogue isn't well written--if it needs the explanation to convey the emotion--then the explanation really won't help.

Perhaps it's a lack of confidence on the writer's part, perhaps it's simple laziness, or perhaps it's a misguided attempt to break up the monotony of using the unadorned said all the time, but all too many fiction writers tend to pepper their dialogue with -ly's.

Which is a good enough reason to cut virtually every one you write.

Ly adverbs almost always catch the writer in the act of explaining dialogue--smuggling emotions into speaker attributions that belong in the dialogue itself. Again, if your dialogue doesn't need the props, putting the props in will make it seem weak even when it isn't.

There are a few exceptions to this principle, and almost all of them are adverbs that actually modify the verb said, such as "he said softly" or "she said clearly."

To be continued...

by Bonnie Calhoun

Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!

Let's continue. Today we'll start Dialogue Mechanics. I just recently learned that one of the first things an acquisitions editor looks for when they begin reading a fiction submission, is the dialogue!

If you're like most writers, you probably find that writing dialogue takes more thought than writing narration or action. And because it's such hard work, generations of writers have developed mechanical tricks to save them the trouble of writing dialogue that effectively conveys character and emotion...Techniques to prop up shaky dialogue, or to paper over holes and make second-rate dialogue serviceable without a lot of effort.

Once you learn to spot these creaky mechanics, all you have to do is stop using them. And once you stop, you may find that your dialogue...standing on its own...is a lot stronger than you thought it was when you wrote it.

Imagine that your at a play. It's the middle of the first act: you're getting really involved in the drama they're acting out. Suddenly the playwright runs out on the stage and yells, "Do you see what's happening here? So you see how her coldness is behind his infidelity? Have you noticed the way his womanizing has undermined her confidence? Do you get it?"

You get it, of course, and you feel patronized. You're an intelligent theater-goer, and what's happening on the stage is clear enough. You don't need the writer to explain it to you.

This is exactly what happens when you explain your dialogue to your readers.

To be continued...

I have joined in recent discussions about writing aids, and my favorite...besides Randy Ingermanson's Snowflake Pro software, is Microsoft's OneNote.

If you already own OneNote but have never explored it, try these videos:

This is for version 2010...


And here is a Microsoft Tutorial for 2010.

This is for version 2007...


And here is the Microsoft Tutorial for 2007.

Go learn...and more on this later.

I was turned on to this great post today over at Seth Godin's The Domino Project. If you haven't been reading him...you are missing out on a marketing genius!

Anyway, he did this post on Jenny Blake. She's an author and Googler, and another of the marketing extraordinaires. She created a system to track the hundreds of action items involved in a book launch. I'm serious! This spread sheet rocks. I probably have thought of a lot of these things but I didn't have them in one handy spot.

She has created to forms of it. One form is that she has uploaded it to Google Docs where you can fill it out and keep it with your other doc. Or you can download it as an Excel spreadsheet.

There is an explanation page that tells you how she uses it, and then a page to give you ideas for all the different devices that she offers. There are a myriad of pages of info and you may not use them all...but I only found two of the pages that I didn't need...at this time :-)

Enjoy!

Check out this great post on Active and Passive voice from the Grammar Girl!

Active vs Passive Voice.

There is actually a place to use passive voice in fiction writing, but the thing I learned is that passive voice is actually recommended for Scientific writing. They say it adds objectivity...do tell :-)

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to
present the present

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row ...

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Amazon announced today that Nielson BookScan is now available to authors who use Amazon's Author Central. You can read the full article HERE.

This is a marketing boon to authors because up until now they had to wait until they got their quarterly statement from their publisher to see how many books they had sold, and the data was often out-of-date. Now with this new tool, authors can see where they are selling to focus their marketing efforts.

When you sign up at Author Central it will ask for your books so that you can "claim" them, and to add additional books just click on one that is already on your list. Data on new books takes about 5-days to get into your account.


by Bonnie S. Calhoun

Train yourself to use better action verbs rather than those pesky "ly" verbs that seem to pop up when we really don't know what to use.

For "walked" or "ran" lumbered plodded scurried sidled slinked/slunk proceeded wended scuttled went on his way shuffled scuffed scuffled stumbled shambled waddled wobbled scooted slouched scrambled scampered minced trotted strolled sauntered ambled marched stepped paced roamed roved meandered shadowed pursued trekked continued on drifted past/along strayed glided along strode stalked stomped strutted swished swaggered stamped tramped trudged traipsed trod/treaded/trodden limped hobbled lurched staggered tripped crawled crossed traversed inched across hurtled galloped charged darted advanced approached bushwhacked chased climbed crept along, crept away sneaked/snuck tiptoed stepped lightly pussyfooted dashed danced pranced descended ascended dodged edged eluded emerged entered evacuated escaped evaded fled flitted flew hauled off groped his way launched across scaled lunged moved paraded passed patrolled plowed prowled propelled pursued raced sailed rushed sidestepped skidded skipped stole stomped steered swerved veered listed trampled ushered waded wandered hiked withdrew ambulated perambulated absconded trailed after bolted tore tore along made rapid strides covered ground sprinted careered scudded hastened raced hurried jogged cantered loped tripped took flight decamped drifted For "reacted" reeled back rocked back flushed blanched blushed scowled nodded her consent nodded his agreement smiled grinned grimaced fell silent shrugged and said admitted with a nod shook his head beamed smirked simpered listed tilted swayed keeled over flinched shivered sniffed blinked retracted sighed exhaled inhaled flicked flung reclined shifted relaxed swallowed pouted looked + adj. yielded hesitated made no attempt to frowned made no answer fell silent paused stared gasped started startled slackened reclined drew back stepped back stiffened resisted retreated raised an eyebrow cocked her head to one side put her head to one side tilted her head chuckled yawned laughed snickered giggled stifled a yawn stifled a laugh took a deep breath glanced off glared shrugged devoid of emotion grinned sneered For "said" uttered mumbled drawled parroted echoed said half-aloud snarled blurted moaned muttered murmured cooed whispered crooned hollered shrilled sassed prompted questioned demanded queried replied suggested responded sang out scoffed screamed yelled yelped shouted inquired chirped squealed squeaked asked herself asked assured commanded cried out exclaimed advised announced growled stuttered stammered instructed told jeered scolded lamented mocked objected questioned roared speculated snapped spat stated whined jabbered prated prattled gibbered cackled gabbled sputtered blathered rambled on rattled on maundered digressed sermonized preached came out with declaimed pontificated harangued ranted rhapsodized gushed spouted let slip enlightened him pointed out chatted revealed boasted crowed vaunted bragged disparaged belittled notified addressed blabbed nattered bantered yakked whispered wondered aloud rejoined retorted replied recited repeated remarked came out with conveyed declared summoned imparted mentioned added put before revealed let out divulged disclosed made known vented aired breathed betrayed recited predicted advanced averred avowed avouched assumed imagined professed claimed purported insinuated cited named offered proposed pleaded imputed implied asserted expressed pledged ascribed affirmed professed admitted

For "jumped" vaulted leapt/leaped pounced startled flinched sprang lunged launched jerked jolted erupted exploded shot from For "took" drew withdrew pulled out a picked selected chose plucked removed snatched out scooped up rooted out snatched trapped took up raised picked up hoisted set upright elevated seized prized open wrenched wrested produced extracted extricated accepted fetched grabbed snitched took hold of jimmied gathered grasped gripped fingered nabbed packed ransacked appropriated swiped snared dragged acquired obtained gained procured garnered gleaned pilfered lowered took down tore down swapped For "pulled" pulled out removed took out extracted produced tugged extricated lugged drew dragged yanked For "pushed" propelled ballasted set in motion drove trundled shoved thrust pressed forward made one's way squeezed through roused prompted forged ahead For "put" stashed placed posed posited plunked down mounted positioned stationed set before dropped crammed stuffed stuck lodged plopped plunked parked stationed planted perched inserted lay set set upright stood on end upended deposited consigned relegated strapped tossed threw flung lobbed hurled heaved cast slapped onto draped dunked eased shifted interposed installed For "looked, saw" glared glanced off regarded made out descried remarked had in sight glowered squinted shot him a look fixed her with a stare sighted ogled cast a glance his eyes begged her to amplify gazed gaped spotted surveyed turned an eye on looked upon distinguished fixed her gaze on noted recognized identified took a look took a glance stared leered scowled scanned peered squinted gaped noticed observed considered watched viewed took in studied examined inspected scrutinized perused sized up took stock of skimmed glanced through flipped through perceived discerned beheld watched for looked on eyed detected contemplated kept in sight held in view stood guard kept watch monitored For "thought, remembered" wondered asked herself pondered noticed reflected struck her as entertained the notion held in one's mind It occurred to her It came to her realized knew she considered. she considered this. he was tempted to brought to mind he was taken with the idea that she reasoned understood considered went over reviewed pictured featured imagined pretended hoped feared envisioned deliberated envisaged called up conjured up conceived of fancied allowed the conceit judged suspected intended expected planned concentrated mused ruminated recalled mulled over brooded over projected anticipated concluded esteemed took heed kept in mind guessed supposed formed an image of conjured hatched fabricated fashioned formulated concocted reasoned that turned it over in her mind flirted with the idea recollected bore in mind deduced inferred thought back to put her in mind of called to mind reminded her of acknowledged weighed reconsidered thought better of For "felt, seemed, showed, looked like" sensed had the impression understood detected seemed appeared betrayed indicated betokened foretokened revealed bespoke suggested signified connoted hinted at alluded to implied intimated presaged portended forewarned disclosed displayed lay open made manifest exposed bared struck her as looked as if looked like had the look of had every appearance of had the earmarks of resembled sounded like exhibited evidenced showed manifested emblematic of

For "touched" clutched pawed gripped grasped took hold of adjusted felt manipulated maneuvered twiddled palpated palmed handled thumbed rummaged through caressed fondled stroked grazed rubbed tugged squeezed scratched pinched patted tapped tamped rapped brushed bedaubed dappled dabbed swept across scraped glanced alighted pressed wrung kneaded shoved gouged grazed prodded ticked trapped jabbed poked pressed probed goaded twisted wedged pried prized open pry/pried pulled pushed primped preened rattled pumped mangled massaged felt flattened smoothed scooped up flicked flipped flogged fondled groped handled held knifed mauled tapped drummed wiggled worked stubbed scoured scrubbed For "had, held" bore exhibited showed displayed betrayed wielded carried was furnished with contained wore sported spanned suspended grasped gripped clutched contained toted possessed retained embraced evinced For "hit" beat socked bumped clapped thumped lashed pummeled punched rammed crashed thwacked slapped smacked pumped impacted attacked hacked swiped swung trounced tackled For "was, were" stood sat took up perched lay hung took place contained spanned loomed occupied remained stayed persisted befell (happened) bechanced occurred happened For "sat" slumped eased into lowered himself sank into sat himself was seated plopped down crouched squatted hunkered down roosted perched settled straddled sat astride sat bestride reposed leaned reclined lolled lounged sprawled lodged For "stood" got to his feet jumped up rose rose to his feet got up remained upright held herself erect stationed herself For "smelled" got scent of sensed sniffed detected snuffled snorted inhaled scented snuffed breathed in savored perceived discerned reeked stunk assaulted the nostrils For "tasted, drank" savored relished nibbled at tried sipped gulped took a deep swallow chewed ingested ruminated sampled sank his teeth into bit into crunched melted licked slurped chugged smacked suckled sucked swigged swilled chomped ground munched gnawed rended quaffed imbibed tippled nipped supped drained washed down swilled down guzzled down lapped up soused quenched For "heard" overheard caught detected picked up perceived apprehended eavesdropped listened listened in gathered heard tell of strained her ears harked harkened attended to took heed of took in gave audience to gave an ear to lent an ear to heard him out within earshot out of earshot For "lie down, lay" reclined eased onto flopped onto lay prone lolled luxuriated lay prostrate lay recumbent lay back rested reposed lazed sprawled lounged slouched slumped For "entered" stepped inside went in came in sailed in burst in set foot in/on broke in forced her way in intruded penetrated passed into For "left, exited" ran off walked off went out departed retreated decamped deserted repaired retired withdrew quit took off fled sallied forth bowed her way out For "turned" wheeled around twisted to one side whirled about rotated spun on her heels pivoted revolved swiveled reeled trundled circled eddied swirled sheered veered shifted divagated angled off shunted

This list came by the courtesy of Deanna Carlyle at deannacarlyle.com

by Bonnie S. Calhoun

A fiction writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell. She decided to check out each place first.

As she descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes."Oh my," she cried. "Let me see heaven now."

A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven and saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.

"Wait a minute," cried the novelist. "This is just as bad as hell!"

"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."

by Bonnie Calhoun

I know, I know...just the thought of writing a One Sheet can cause most normally sane people to reach for a hammer in a futile attempt to destroy their computers and thus avoid the exercise.

LOL...it really ranks right up there with the “dreaded synopsis”...but that’s another post.

A one sheet is basically a full page elevator pitch. Remember learning to do an elevator pitch. It’s the three sentence version of a one sheet that you can tell a captive agent or editor on the way up or down in an elevator. *snort-giggle* (And it doesn’t count if you lean on the buttons to make the elevator keep stopping so that you can read them a whole one sheet.)

The basic anatomy of a One Sheet contains enough information to pique the interest of an agent or editor. It should contain:

Your contact info: name, address, phone number, email and your primary website.

Stop at those and don’t embellish with an info dump including your Twitter, Facebook, or any other social networking connections. If you are word wise and have room left over when you get all the applicable data included you could add any business websites that you are involved in, but don’t forsake novel info for biographical info. You need them to be interested in the book first!

Next...lay out the info for your book.

The spiritual theme – usually there is a bible verse or premise in mind for the book concept.

The length, genre, and availability.

The concept - sometimes called a short synopsis, or back cover blurb – mash down the whole book into a couple sentences. Usually who, what, when , where and why works well...LOL...I got all “w’s” in there!

A short market analysis - why would this book be a good seller, what makes it different or interesting, and/or what group of people would be interested in reading it.

And lastly, a quick comparison to one or two other books that are similar, or written in the same vein.

Here is a sample of the One Sheet that I used to get the interest of my agent, Terry Burns. This particular book has not found a home yet...but nothing comes before its time. One Sheet

Another format for a sort of One Sheet is the type that agents send to publishers called a Sell Sheet. It contains different information that the type that we as writers would hand out because this type is usually followed by a full length proposal (which we will talk about in another lesson.)

This is a sample of a Sell Sheet that my agent sent out on this same novel. The format contains about half author info, and half short synopsis, with a log line at the top. Sell Sheet

All of the words that I have written in bold will be future discussions!


by Bonnie Calhoun

Hi all!

I've garnered what I consider to be very helpful information about formatting your manuscript. This info comes from my friend and agent Terry Burns. He is a multi-published novelist, and an agent at Hartline Literary ...LOL...so the man KNOWS what he is talking about!

One large hurdle to publication is submitting a good, professional-looking proposal or manuscript to an agent or editor. The object here is not to stand out but to look like an established pro. A submission that appears the submitter does not know what he or she is doing, or that looks like it will take too much work to get ready may receive little or no attention.

These rules cover the primary items for the formatting of the manuscript, but the submission guidelines posted by the editor or agent you are submitting to should be the guide. While it is true a manuscript might not be rejected for breaking only one of these rules (unless it's a glaring one), a combination is sure to catch attention. We have to prepare a manuscript in some manner anyway, we might as well prepare it right.

Some of the key provisions are:

CHECKLIST FOR FORMATTING A MANUSCRIPT

1" margins, double spaced in New Courier12 or Times New Roman 12 font – only on one side of the page. To insure a consistent number of lines per page the widow and orphans feature should be turned off.

Paragraphs should be indented .5 inch with NO space between paragraphs. They should NEVER be indented by spacing in (these have to be removed by the editor) a tab is acceptable although preferred is to go into paragraph formatting and just select first line indent.

One space between sentences – do NOT justify the right margin. If tracking changes has been used during the preparation process, these should be completely removed and not just "hidden."

Chapters should begin near the center of the page (16 blank lines) and a page break (not section break) should be inserted at the end so chapter heads stay put if changes are made. Chapters do not require titles.

There should be a header slug with author's last name, a word or two from the title and the page number in the upper left or right of the page. This should be in the header and NOT in the text so it does not move when text is changed. (click on view – then header and footer) Make sure under layout that first page different is checked so the header appears only on subsequent pages.

The cover page on the front should use the title in normal size type centered halfway down the page and doublespace below it your name or byline. Your name, address and contact information in the upper left or lower right. Contact information should include phone number and email address, but SHOULD NOT include social security number.

The word count (rounded off) should be in the upper right hand corner. Word count for many years was determined by multiplying the industry standard 250 words per page times the number of pages. Most houses now use computer word count.

A forced scene break (intentional white space) should be indicated by placing # centered on a line of its own.

Do not include drawings, colored type, fancy fonts, giant size type on the cover, or anything else to make your manuscript stand out – remember the goal is to look professional not different.

Italics may be indicated by underlining, although most now will just take them inserted as italics where they go.

Remember that regardless of what is being submitted the first paragraph or two MUST capture the interest of the reader, editor or agent by raising a question, capturing interest or arousing curiosity to cause them to commit to reading further down into the manuscript.

When ready to submit the proposal itself will be single spaced, but the sample chapters should be placed in the proposal retaining their formatting so the editor or agent can insure the manuscript formatting is ready to go.

Finally, individual places where you wish to submit may have requirements particular to how they wish to receive a submission. Always check submission guidelines usually available on their website and adhere to them religiously.

by Bonnie Calhoun

by Bonnie Calhoun

Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!

Let's continue with proportion. This does not mean that your work is textureless. There is always room for philosophical sidetrails that reveal the narrator's character, subplots that may resonate with the main plot, or forays into odd corners of background that make the fictional world more three-dimentional.

The trick is telling the difference between digressions that harmonize with the story (even in odd and mysterious ways) and those that hang on the story like fungus!

How do you tell...walk away from it for a week or so, and then reread it...or get a critique partner. Once you have trained yourself to see how changes in proportion affect your story, you can begin to use proportion to shape your reader's response to your plot.

Example: If you have some plot development that you want to come as a surprise, spend less space on it before you spring it on your readers. Or you could spend as much or more space on similar plot elements to mask the really important one.

CHECKLIST:

Take a look at your descriptions. Are the details you give the ones your viewpoint characters will notice?

Reread your first fifty pages, paying attention to what you spend your time on. Are the characters you develop most fully important ot the ending? Do you use the locations you develop in detail later in the story? Do any of the characters play a surprising role in the ending? Could readers guess this from the amount of time you spend on them?

Do you have tanents...little supplots or descriptions that don't advance the plot? If so, are all of them effective? If you don't have any, should you add some?

Are you writing about your favorite topic or hobbies? If so, give careful consideration to how much time you spend on them.

Next we will move onto Dialogue Mechanics!

by Bonnie Calhoun

Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!

Let's continue with proportion, and the problems that arise from taking seemingly small details and devoting excessive amounts of time to them.

This sort of proportion problem has exactly the same effect on readers as excess description. When you fill in all the details and leave nothing to your readers imagination, you're patronizing them.

This is even more true now than it was a few decades ago, when generous, detailed descriptions were the norm. It's the influence of movies and TV...readers are used to jump-cuts from scene to scene rather than long transitional shots.

Fiction writers, in turn, are much freer to use ellipses, to leave more of the mundane, bridging action up to their readers imagination. Of course there are other things that can throw your proportions off besides simple misjudgment. Sometimes proportion problems arise when a writer is writing about his or her pet interests or hobbies.

And yes, one of the joys of reading comes when a writer takes you through some little back alley of life that you never knew existed. But when we reached the three pages of how to kill and field-dress a beaver, the writer has gone too far...LOL!

So how do you avoid proportion problems. In most cases, it's quite simple: pay attention!

Most larger proportion problems can be avoided if you pay attention to your story. After all, if you spend a great deal of time on a given character or plot element for whatever reason, your readers naturally assume this element plays an important role in the story.

So if the character you spend time on turns out to be insignificant or if you never follow up on the plot element you set up in such detail, readers are going to feel cheated.

Continued tomorrow...

by Bonnie Calhoun

Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!

Let's continue with Point Of View.

Okay, so what happens when you have to shift your point of view for the sake of the plot? If say, your writing from the cop's point of view and you need to add in the burglar? How do you change the POV without jerking your readers around?

It's quite simple: end the current scene, insert a linespace, and start a new scene from the POV you need. Linespaces prepare readers for a shift( in time, place, or POV), so the change in the POV won't catch them by surprise.

Once you've mastered your control of narrative distance, you can use it for some stunning effects. Of all the means available to you for crafting your story, POV is one of the most fundamental. It is how you show who your characters are. It allows you to convey emotions that often can't be put across in any other way.

POV is a powerful tool! Master it!

CHECKLIST:

Which POV are you using and why? If you want continuing intimacy, are you using the first person? If you want distance, are you using third person, or omniscient?

Do you move from head to head? If so, why? Would your story gain power if you stuck with a single POV character or broke your scenes up at appropraite places with linespaces to make this possible?

Take a look at your language. Is it right for your POV character? If not, should it be?

Look at your descriptions. Can you tell how your POV character feels about what you're describing?

Next we'll start on Proportion...

by Bonnie Calhoun

Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!

Let's continue with Point Of View.

The day before yesterday, we were talking about first-person POV, now we're moving to the other end of the spectrum to the omniscient POV. Instead of being written from inside the head of one of your characters, a scene in the omniscient point of view is not written from inside anyone's head.

So you can see the whole scene from the sidelines. Note that with the omniscient voice what you gain in perspective you lose in intimacy.

then there is third person. If a first person invites intimacy and the omniscient narrator allows for perspective, the thirsd person strikes a balance between the two! Actually it can strike any number of balances...it's the attempt to define precisely these various degrees of intimacy versus perspective that leads to describing twenty-six different flavors of POV.

It's much less complicated to simply treat the third-person POV as a continuum, running from narrative intimacy to narrative distance.

Okay...so what the devil does that mean...I ask myself?

It means that when you describe your settings and actions using only words from your POV characters vocabulary, you're not only telling the readers the facts, but but you're running those facts through your POV character's history and sensibility.

On the other hand, when the voice of your descriptions is more sophisticated, more verbose, perhaps more acutely observant that your POV character can manage, you've put distance between the two!

It is worth noting that, because the emotional connection between your reader and your POV character builds slowly, it's usually a good idea to establish the POV as quickly as possible...in the first sentence of the scene if you can manage it.

When you make the POV clear at the beginning of a scene, you get your readers involved right away and let them get used to inhabiting your viewpoint character's head.

by Bonnie Calhoun

Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!

Let's continue with Point Of View.

Some writing books distinguish as many as twenty-six different flavors of POV, but there are really only three basic approaches: first person, third person, and omniscient.

The first person is the "I" voice, where all the narration is written as if the narrator were speaking directly to the readers. ("I knew as soon as I entered...")
Note that in first person the narrator is one of the characters, not the writer.

The first-person POV has a number of advantages, the main one being that it gives your reader a great deal of intimacy with your viewpoint character. When you are writing in the "I" voice, your main character effortlessly invites your reader into his or her head and shows them the world through his or her eyes.

Of course, in order to succeed in first person POV, you have to create a character strong enough and interesting enough to keep your readers going for an entire novel, yet not so eccentric or bizarre that your readers feel trapped inside his or her head.

But realize, what you gain in intimacy with the first person...You lose in perspective! You can't write about anything your main character couldn't know, which means you have to have your main character in the spot whenever you want to write an immediate scene...This can limit your plot development possibilities!

Also in one POV, your readers get to know only one character directly. Everyone else is filtered through your viewpoint character. One way around this is to write in the first person but from several different viewpoints...With different scenes done from inside the heads of different characters.

This technique can be highly effective in the hands of an experienced writer. For example, over the course of Sol Stein's The Best Revenge, first-person sections are written from the POV's of six different characters. And Mary Gordon devotes the last section in the Company of Women to first-person accounts by all the major characters in turn.

by Bonnie Calhoun

Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!

Let's continue with exposition.

Everything we've said about characterization applies to exposition as well. Backgroung, backstory, the information your readers need in order to follow and appreciate your plot...all these should be brought out as unobtrusively as possible.

The most obtrusive type of exposition is, of course, a long discourse in the narrative voice. The same thing holds true for interior monologue.

Perhaps the toughest expostion challenge is introducing your readers to a new culture. This could be something as simple as conveying everyday life in rural Tennessee to readers who may live in Palm Beach (or visa versa). How do you transport your readers to strange new worlds without loading down your opening with a lot of expostion?

Bear in mind that this kind of background is really characterization, only what's being characterized is a culture rather than a person. and as was the case with characterization, readers can best learn about your locations and backgrounds not through lengthy exposition but by seeing them in real life.

CheckList:

Look back over a scene or chapter that introduces one or more characters. How much time, if any, have you spent describing the new character? Are you telling us about characteristics that will later show up in dialogue and action?

How about character histories? How many of your characters' childhoods have you developed in detail? Can some of these life stories be cut?

What info (technical details, past histories, backgrounds) do your readers need in order to understand your story? At what point in the story do they need to know it?

How are you getting this information across to your readers? Have you given it to them all at once through a short writer-to-reader lecture?

If the exposition comes out through dialogue, is it through dialogue your character would actually speak even if your readers didn't have to know the information? In other words, does the dialogue exist only to put the information across?

by Bonnie Calhoun

Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!

Let's continue with characterization.

Some writers take a more subtle approach than simply describing a new character's personality...they describe each new character's history. In the course of the story, they may even trace theri characters' ancestry back two or three generations. It is perfectly understandable that a writer should undertake this sort of historical characterization.

Delving into a character's past can be a good way for you to understand the character in the present. but htough it may have been helpful for you to write a character's history...it may not be necessary for your readers to read it!

One you understand a character well enough to bring him or her to life, we don't have to know where the character came from.

So how do you go about establishing a charater gradually and unobtrusively? This topic could make a book in itself, but there are some techniques that fall within the area of fiction mechanics.

Have one character characterized by another instead of by the writer.
Develop your characters through dialogue.
Another way is to develop a character is to write not about the character directly but about other matters from that characters viewpoint.

Next we'll start on Exposition.

by Bonnie Calhoun

Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King.

These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!

Today we're going to work on characterization and Exposition.

A lot of writers seem to feel they have to give their readers a clear understanding of a new character before they can get on with their story. They never bring a character onstage without a brief personality summary. Or else they introduce their character with flashbacks to the childhood scenes that made them who they are...In effect, psychoanalyzing the characters for their readers.

It's often a good idea to introduce a new character with enough physical description for your readers to picture him or her. As with describing your settings, all you need are a few concrete, idiomatic details to jump-start your readers' imagination. ("A good-looking man in his fifties," for instance, is too vague to be interesting.)

The show-and-tell principle underlies many of the self-editing points we'll talk about from now on!

Another reason to avoid thumbnail character sketches is that the personality traits you tell us about when you introduce a character will (we would hope) eventually be shown by the way the character behaves in the story.

Also when you sum up your characters, you risk defining them to the point that they're boxed in by the characterization with no room to grow. You may be setting boundary lines that your readers will use to interpret your characters' actions through the rest of the book.

But if you allow your readers to get to know your characters gradually, each reader will interpret them in his or her own way, thus getting a deeper sense of who your characters are than you could ever convey in a summary.

Finally, for today...Sketching out your characters for your readers is just plain obtrusive. It's a form of telling that is almost certain to make your readers aware that you the writer are hard at work!