tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-319250962024-03-13T17:07:55.652-04:00Bonnie's Writing TipsBonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.comBlogger64125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-58791979749994447932011-11-08T00:00:00.000-05:002011-11-07T23:54:00.082-05:00Lesson #14 - Dialogue Mechanics con'tby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>.<br />
<br />
These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br />
<br />
Let's continue. We've been working on Dialogue Mechanics.<br />
<br />
Here are some dialogue faux pas...<br />
<br />
<i><b>"I hate to admit that," he grimaced. </b></i><br />
<br />
<i><b>"Come closer," she smiled.</b></i><br />
<br />
<i><b>"So you've changed your mind," he chuckled.</b></i><br />
<br />
To use verbs like these three for speaker attributions is to brand yourself as an amateur...And to stick your character with an action that is physically impossible. No one outside of hack fiction has ever been able to grimace or smile or chuckle a sentence!<br />
<br />
We're all in favor of choosing exactly the right verb for the action, but when you're writing speaker attributions the right verb is nearly always <em>said</em>.<br />
<br />
The reason those well-intentioned attempts at variety don't work is that verbs other than <em>said</em> tend to draw attention away from the dialogue.<br />
<br />
There are other ways to keep your speaker attributions transparent. Don't open a paragraph of dialogue with the speaker attribution. Instead, start a paragraph with dialogue and place the speaker attribution at the first natural break in the first sentence. ("I disagree," he said. "Plungers have...)<br />
<br />
Place the character's name or pronoun first in a speaker attribution ("Dave said"). Reversing the two ("said Dave"), though often done, is less professional. It has a slightly old-fashioned, first-grade-reader flavor ("Run spot, run" said Jane.)<br />
<br />
After all, "said he" fell out of favor sometime during the Taft administration...LOL!<br />
<br />
<strong>CHECKLIST:</strong><br />
<br />
First check your dialogue for explanations. It may help to take a highlighter and mark every place where an emotion is mentioned outside of dialogue.<br />
<br />
Cut the explanations and see how the dialogue reads without them. Better? Worse? If it's worse, then start rewriting your dialogue.<br />
<br />
As long as you have your highlighter out, mark every <em>-ly</em> adverb. How many are there? How many of them are based on an adjective describing an emotion? You can probably do without most of them.<br />
<br />
How about your speaker attributions? Any physical impossibilities? Any verbs other than said? Remember though, there are occasional exceptions, even innocuous verbs like <em>replied</em> or <em>answered</em> lack the unobtrusiveness of <em>said</em>.<br />
<br />
Can you get rid of some of your speaker attributions entirely? Just drop them and see if it's still clear who is speaking.<br />
<br />
Have you started a paragraph with a speaker attribution?<br />
<br />
Name before noun ("Renni said") rather than the other way around ("said Renni")?<br />
<br />
Have you referred to a character more than one way in the same scene (using different forms of their name)?<br />
<br />
Ellipses for gaps, dashes for interruptions, right? (I'm very bad at this one, right Mimi?)<br />
<br />
How often have you paragraphed your dialogue? Try paragraphing a little more often and see how it reads.Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-31459792630429369442011-11-07T17:00:00.000-05:002011-11-07T23:52:49.044-05:00Lesson #13 - Dialogue Mechanics con'tby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>.<br />
<br />
These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br />
<br />
Let's continue. Today we'll be working on Dialogue Mechanics.<br />
<br />
A quick review of yesterday reveals that if you're like most beginning writers, you write sentences like, "You can't be serious," she said in astonishment.<br />
<br />
And you probably write them without thinking! What could be easier than simply to tell your readers how a character feels? If she is astonished, you just say so. It saves time and trouble!<br />
<br />
It's also lazy writing. When your dialogue is well written, describing your characters' emotions to your readers is just as patronizing as a playwright running onto the stage and explaining things to the audience!<br />
<br />
If your dialogue isn't well written--if it needs the explanation to convey the emotion--then the explanation really won't help.<br />
<br />
Perhaps it's a lack of confidence on the writer's part, perhaps it's simple laziness, or perhaps it's a misguided attempt to break up the monotony of using the unadorned <em>said</em> all the time, but all too many fiction writers tend to pepper their dialogue with -<em>ly's.</em><br />
<br />
Which is a good enough reason to cut virtually every one you write.<br />
<br />
<em>Ly</em> adverbs almost always catch the writer in the act of explaining dialogue--smuggling emotions into speaker attributions that belong in the dialogue itself. Again, if your dialogue doesn't need the props, putting the props in will make it seem weak even when it isn't.<br />
<br />
There are a few exceptions to this principle, and almost all of them are adverbs that actually modify the verb <em>said</em>, such as "he said softly" or "she said clearly."<br />
<br />
To be continued...Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-68701044703271111422011-11-07T01:34:00.000-05:002011-11-07T23:51:05.598-05:00Lesson #12 - Dialogue Mechanicsby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>.<br />
<br />
These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br />
<br />
Let's continue. Today we'll start Dialogue Mechanics. I just recently learned that one of the first things an acquisitions editor looks for when they begin reading a fiction submission, is the dialogue!<br />
<br />
If you're like most writers, you probably find that writing dialogue takes more thought than writing narration or action. And because it's such hard work, generations of writers have developed mechanical tricks to save them the trouble of writing dialogue that effectively conveys character and emotion...Techniques to prop up shaky dialogue, or to paper over holes and make second-rate dialogue serviceable without a lot of effort.<br />
<br />
Once you learn to spot these creaky mechanics, all you have to do is stop using them. And once you stop, you may find that your dialogue...standing on its own...is a lot stronger than you thought it was when you wrote it.<br />
<br />
Imagine that your at a play. It's the middle of the first act: you're getting really involved in the drama they're acting out. Suddenly the playwright runs out on the stage and yells, "Do you see what's happening here? So you see how her coldness is behind his infidelity? Have you noticed the way his womanizing has undermined her confidence? Do you get it?"<br />
<br />
You get it, of course, and you feel patronized. You're an intelligent theater-goer, and what's happening on the stage is clear enough. You don't need the writer to explain it to you.<br />
<br />
This is exactly what happens when you explain your dialogue to your readers.<br />
<br />
To be continued...Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-39797744567600549572011-07-22T02:08:00.004-04:002011-09-15T12:11:59.617-04:00OneNote VersionsI have joined in recent discussions about writing aids, and my favorite...besides Randy Ingermanson's <a href="http://www.advancedfictionwriting.com/info/snowflake_pro/index.php">Snowflake Pro</a> software, is Microsoft's <a href="http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/onenote/">OneNote</a>.<br />
<br />
If you already own OneNote but have never explored it, try these videos:<br />
<br />
This is for version 2010...<br />
<object width="420" height="269"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/8ia2-9NFEl8?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/8ia2-9NFEl8?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="420" height="269" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object><br />
<br />
And here is a <a href="http://www.microsoft.com/education/en-us/products/Pages/onenote2010.aspx">Microsoft Tutorial for 2010</a>.<br />
<br />
This is for version 2007...<br />
<object width="420" height="345"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tiEbBF-Lr1E?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tiEbBF-Lr1E?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="420" height="345" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object><br />
<br />
And here is the <a href="http://office.microsoft.com/en-us/onenote-help/get-started-with-microsoft-office-onenote-2007-HA010032521.aspx">Microsoft Tutorial for 2007</a>.<br />
<br />
Go learn...and more on this later.<br />
<br />
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<div class="fb-like" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/bonniescalhounsnarkandsuspense" data-send="false" data-layout="button_count" data-width="450" data-show-faces="false"></div>Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-38484367225305241872011-07-02T10:54:00.004-04:002011-09-15T12:10:59.768-04:00A Spreadsheet for Book Launch Success<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-d-GOJ3Ck5jQ/Tg7BbTX084I/AAAAAAAAD8Q/c8X48tuzz2I/s1600/spreadsheet.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-d-GOJ3Ck5jQ/Tg7BbTX084I/AAAAAAAAD8Q/c8X48tuzz2I/s1600/spreadsheet.jpg" /></a></div>I was turned on to this great post today over at Seth Godin's <a href="http://www.thedominoproject.com/2011/06/a-spreadsheet-for-the-self-published.html/">The Domino Project</a>. If you haven't been reading him...you are missing out on a marketing genius!<br />
<br />
Anyway, he did this post on Jenny Blake. She's an author and Googler, and another of the marketing extraordinaires. She created a system to track the hundreds of action items involved in a book launch. I'm serious! This spread sheet rocks. I probably have thought of a lot of these things but I didn't have them in one handy spot.<br />
<br />
She has created to forms of it. One form is that she has uploaded it to <a href="http://bit.ly/BookMarketingSpreadsheet">Google Docs</a> where you can fill it out and keep it with your other doc. Or you can download it as an <a href="http://bit.ly/BookMarketingExcel">Excel spreadsheet</a>.<br />
<br />
There is an explanation page that tells you how she uses it, and then a page to give you ideas for all the different devices that she offers. There are a myriad of pages of info and you may not use them all...but I only found two of the pages that I didn't need...at this time :-)<br />
<br />
Enjoy!<br />
<br />
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<div class="fb-like" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/bonniescalhounsnarkandsuspense" data-send="false" data-layout="button_count" data-width="450" data-show-faces="false"></div>Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-16502357478812308402011-05-04T11:53:00.002-04:002011-09-15T12:12:29.739-04:00Active vs Passive Voice<div align="left"><object align="middle" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=9,0,0,0" height="250" id="rss_reader" width="200"> <param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="false" /><param name="movie" value="http://quickanddirtytips.com/widgets/qdt_masterfeed.swf?whichQD=grammar" /><param name="quality" value="high" /><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://quickanddirtytips.com/widgets/qdt_masterfeed.swf?whichQD=grammar" width="200" height="250" align="middle" quality="high" name="http://quickanddirtytips.com/widgets/qdt_masterfeed.swf?whichQD=grammar" allowScriptAccess="always" allowFullScreen="false" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" wmode="transparent" /> </object></div>Check out this great post on Active and Passive voice from the Grammar Girl!<br />
<br />
<a href="http://grammar.quickanddirtytips.com/active-voice-versus-passive-voice.aspx">Active vs Passive Voice</a>.<br />
<br />
There is actually a place to use passive voice in fiction writing, but the thing I learned is that passive voice is actually recommended for Scientific writing. They say it adds objectivity...do tell :-)<br />
<br />
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<div class="fb-like" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/bonniescalhounsnarkandsuspense" data-send="false" data-layout="button_count" data-width="450" data-show-faces="false"></div>Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-31869772143698456472011-04-26T15:58:00.001-04:002011-09-15T12:12:49.905-04:00You think English is easy???1) The bandage was wound around the wound. <br />
<br />
2) The farm was used to produce produce . <br />
<br />
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.<br />
<br />
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.<br />
<br />
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.<br />
<br />
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.<br />
<br />
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to<br />
present the present <br />
<br />
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.<br />
<br />
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.<br />
<br />
10) I did not object to the object. <br />
<br />
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid. <br />
<br />
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row ...<br />
<br />
13) They were too close to the door to close it. <br />
<br />
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.<br />
<br />
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.<br />
<br />
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.<br />
<br />
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail. <br />
<br />
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.<br />
<br />
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. <br />
<br />
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? <br />
<br />
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<div class="fb-like" data-href="https://www.facebook.com/bonniescalhounsnarkandsuspense" data-send="false" data-layout="button_count" data-width="450" data-show-faces="false"></div>Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-31994686057593739742010-12-10T15:03:00.000-05:002010-12-10T15:03:28.339-05:00Nielson BookScan Available to Authors<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_m32TlugOPkM/TQKHgQtfZ6I/AAAAAAAADx0/l_9ZxtL_-AM/s1600/map.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_m32TlugOPkM/TQKHgQtfZ6I/AAAAAAAADx0/l_9ZxtL_-AM/s200/map.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>Amazon announced today that Nielson BookScan is now available to authors who use Amazon's <a href="https://authorcentral.amazon.com/">Author Central</a>. You can read the full article <a href="http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/jacketcopy/2010/12/amazon-gives-nielsen-bookscan-to-authors.html">HERE</a>.<br />
<br />
This is a marketing boon to authors because up until now they had to wait until they got their quarterly statement from their publisher to see how many books they had sold, and the data was often out-of-date. Now with this new tool, authors can see where they are selling to focus their marketing efforts.<br />
<br />
When you sign up at Author Central it will ask for your books so that you can "claim" them, and to add additional books just click on one that is already on your list. Data on new books takes about 5-days to get into your account.<br />
<br />
<br />
by<span style="font-size: 130%;"> <span style="color: maroon; font-family: times new roman;"><b><i>Bonnie S. Calhoun</i></b></span></span>Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-61430502062376582012010-07-03T23:33:00.005-04:002010-10-16T19:26:18.275-04:001000 Verbs To Write ByTrain yourself to use better action verbs rather than those pesky "ly" verbs that seem to pop up when we really don't know what to use.
<br />
<table border="0" cellpadding="3" cellspacing="0" style="width: 470px;">
<tbody>
<tr valign="top">
<td width="153"><b>For "walked" <br />or "ran"</b> <br />
lumbered <br />
plodded <br />
scurried <br />
sidled <br />
slinked/slunk <br />
proceeded <br />
wended <br />
scuttled <br />
went on his way <br />
shuffled <br />
scuffed <br />
scuffled <br />
stumbled <br />
shambled <br />
waddled <br />
wobbled <br />
scooted <br />
slouched <br />
scrambled <br />
scampered <br />
minced <br />
trotted <br />
strolled <br />
sauntered <br />
ambled <br />
marched <br />
stepped <br />
paced <br />
roamed <br />
roved <br />
meandered <br />
shadowed <br />
pursued <br />
trekked <br />
continued on <br />
drifted past/along <br />
strayed <br />
glided along <br />
strode <br />
stalked <br />
stomped <br />
strutted <br />
swished <br />
swaggered <br />
stamped <br />
tramped <br />
trudged <br />
traipsed <br />
trod/treaded/trodden limped <br />
hobbled <br />
lurched <br />
staggered <br />
tripped <br />
crawled <br />
crossed <br />
traversed <br />
inched across <br />
hurtled <br />
galloped <br />
charged <br />
darted <br />
advanced <br />
approached <br />
bushwhacked <br />
chased <br />
climbed <br />
crept along, crept away <br />
sneaked/snuck <br />
tiptoed <br />
stepped lightly <br />
pussyfooted <br />
dashed <br />
danced <br />
pranced <br />
descended <br />
ascended <br />
dodged <br />
edged <br />
eluded <br />
emerged <br />
entered <br />
evacuated <br />
escaped <br />
evaded <br />
fled <br />
flitted <br />
flew <br />
hauled off <br />
groped his way <br />
launched across <br />
scaled <br />
lunged <br />
moved <br />
paraded <br />
passed <br />
patrolled <br />
plowed <br />
prowled <br />
propelled <br />
pursued <br />
raced <br />
sailed <br />
rushed <br />
sidestepped <br />
skidded <br />
skipped <br />
stole <br />
stomped <br />
steered <br />
swerved <br />
veered <br />
listed <br />
trampled <br />
ushered <br />
waded <br />
wandered <br />
hiked <br />
withdrew <br />
ambulated <br />
perambulated <br />
absconded <br />
trailed after <br />
bolted <br />
tore <br />
tore along <br />
made rapid strides <br />
covered ground <br />
sprinted <br />
careered <br />
scudded <br />
hastened <br />
raced <br />
hurried <br />
jogged <br />
cantered <br />
loped <br />
tripped <br />
took flight <br />
decamped<br />
drifted<br />
<br />
<b>For "reacted"</b> <br />
reeled back <br />
rocked back <br />
flushed <br />
blanched <br />
blushed <br />
scowled <br />
nodded her consent <br />
nodded his agreement <br />
smiled <br />
grinned <br />
grimaced <br />
fell silent <br />
shrugged and said <br />
admitted with a nod <br />
shook his head <br />
beamed <br />
smirked <br />
simpered <br />
listed <br />
tilted <br />
swayed <br />
keeled over <br />
flinched <br />
shivered <br />
sniffed <br />
blinked <br />
retracted <br />
sighed <br />
exhaled <br />
inhaled <br />
flicked <br />
flung <br />
reclined <br />
shifted <br />
relaxed <br />
swallowed <br />
pouted <br />
looked + adj. <br />
yielded <br />
hesitated <br />
made no attempt to <br />
frowned <br />
made no answer <br />
fell silent <br />
paused <br />
stared <br />
gasped <br />
started <br />
startled <br />
slackened <br />
reclined <br />
drew back <br />
stepped back <br />
stiffened <br />
resisted <br />
retreated <br />
raised an eyebrow <br />
cocked her head to one side <br />
put her head to one side <br />
tilted her head <br />
chuckled <br />
yawned <br />
laughed <br />
snickered <br />
giggled <br />
stifled a yawn <br />
stifled a laugh <br />
took a deep breath <br />
glanced off <br />
glared <br />
shrugged <br />
devoid of emotion <br />
grinned <br />
sneered<br />
<br />
<b>For "said"</b> <br />
uttered <br />
mumbled <br />
drawled <br />
parroted <br />
echoed <br />
said half-aloud <br />
snarled <br />
blurted <br />
moaned <br />
muttered <br />
murmured <br />
cooed <br />
whispered <br />
crooned <br />
hollered <br />
shrilled <br />
sassed <br />
prompted <br />
questioned <br />
demanded <br />
queried <br />
replied <br />
suggested <br />
responded <br />
sang out <br />
scoffed <br />
screamed <br />
yelled <br />
yelped <br />
shouted <br />
inquired <br />
chirped <br />
squealed <br />
squeaked <br />
asked herself <br />
asked <br />
assured <br />
commanded <br />
cried out <br />
exclaimed <br />
advised <br />
announced <br />
growled <br />
stuttered <br />
stammered <br />
instructed <br />
told <br />
jeered <br />
scolded <br />
lamented <br />
mocked <br />
objected <br />
questioned <br />
roared <br />
speculated <br />
snapped <br />
spat <br />
stated <br />
whined <br />
jabbered <br />
prated <br />
prattled <br />
gibbered <br />
cackled <br />
gabbled <br />
sputtered <br />
blathered <br />
rambled on <br />
rattled on <br />
maundered <br />
digressed <br />
sermonized <br />
preached <br />
came out with <br />
declaimed <br />
pontificated <br />
harangued <br />
ranted <br />
rhapsodized <br />
gushed <br />
spouted <br />
let slip <br />
enlightened him <br />
pointed out <br />
chatted <br />
revealed <br />
boasted <br />
crowed <br />
vaunted <br />
bragged <br />
disparaged <br />
belittled <br />
notified <br />
addressed <br />
blabbed <br />
nattered <br />
bantered <br />
yakked <br />
whispered <br />
wondered aloud <br />
rejoined <br />
retorted <br />
replied <br />
recited <br />
repeated <br />
remarked <br />
came out with <br />
conveyed <br />
declared <br />
summoned <br />
imparted <br />
mentioned <br />
added <br />
put before <br />
revealed <br />
let out <br />
divulged <br />
disclosed <br />
made known <br />
vented <br />
aired <br />
breathed <br />
betrayed <br />
recited <br />
predicted <br />
advanced <br />
averred <br />
avowed <br />
avouched <br />
assumed <br />
imagined <br />
professed <br />
claimed <br />
purported <br />
insinuated <br />
cited <br />
named <br />
offered <br />
proposed <br />
pleaded <br />
imputed <br />
implied <br />
asserted <br />
expressed <br />
pledged <br />
ascribed <br />
affirmed <br />
professed <br />
admitted </td>
<td width="163"><b>For "jumped"</b> <br />
vaulted <br />
leapt/leaped <br />
pounced <br />
startled <br />
flinched <br />
sprang <br />
lunged <br />
launched <br />
jerked <br />
jolted <br />
erupted <br />
exploded <br />
shot from <br /><br />
<b>For "took"</b> <br />
drew <br />
withdrew <br />
pulled out a <br />
picked <br />
selected <br />
chose <br />
plucked <br />
removed <br />
snatched out <br />
scooped up <br />
rooted out <br />
snatched <br />
trapped <br />
took up <br />
raised <br />
picked up <br />
hoisted <br />
set upright <br />
elevated <br />
seized <br />
prized open <br />
wrenched <br />
wrested <br />
produced <br />
extracted <br />
extricated <br />
accepted <br />
fetched <br />
grabbed <br />
snitched <br />
took hold of <br />
jimmied <br />
gathered <br />
grasped <br />
gripped <br />
fingered <br />
nabbed <br />
packed <br />
ransacked <br />
appropriated <br />
swiped <br />
snared <br />
dragged <br />
acquired <br />
obtained <br />
gained <br />
procured <br />
garnered <br />
gleaned <br />
pilfered <br />
lowered <br />
took down <br />
tore down <br />
swapped<br />
<br />
<b>For "pulled"</b> <br />
pulled out <br />
removed <br />
took out <br />
extracted <br />
produced <br />
tugged <br />
extricated <br />
lugged <br />
drew <br />
dragged <br />
yanked <br />
<br />
<b>For "pushed"</b> <br />
propelled <br />
ballasted <br />
set in motion <br />
drove <br />
trundled <br />
shoved <br />
thrust <br />
pressed forward <br />
made one's way <br />
squeezed through <br />
roused <br />
prompted <br />
forged ahead<br />
<br />
<b>For "put"</b> <br />
stashed <br />
placed <br />
posed <br />
posited <br />
plunked down <br />
mounted <br />
positioned <br />
stationed <br />
set before <br />
dropped <br />
crammed <br />
stuffed <br />
stuck <br />
lodged <br />
plopped <br />
plunked <br />
parked <br />
stationed <br />
planted <br />
perched <br />
inserted <br />
lay <br />
set <br />
set upright <br />
stood on end <br />
upended <br />
deposited <br />
consigned <br />
relegated <br />
strapped <br />
tossed <br />
threw <br />
flung <br />
lobbed <br />
hurled <br />
heaved <br />
cast <br />
slapped onto <br />
draped <br />
dunked <br />
eased <br />
shifted <br />
interposed <br />
installed<br />
<br />
<b>For "looked, saw"</b> <br />
glared <br />
glanced off <br />
regarded <br />
made out <br />
descried <br />
remarked <br />
had in sight <br />
glowered <br />
squinted <br />
shot him a look <br />
fixed her with a stare <br />
sighted <br />
ogled <br />
cast a glance <br />
his eyes begged her to amplify <br />
gazed <br />
gaped <br />
spotted <br />
surveyed <br />
turned an eye on <br />
looked upon <br />
distinguished <br />
fixed her gaze on <br />
noted <br />
recognized <br />
identified <br />
took a look <br />
took a glance <br />
stared <br />
leered <br />
scowled <br />
scanned <br />
peered <br />
squinted <br />
gaped <br />
noticed <br />
observed <br />
considered <br />
watched <br />
viewed <br />
took in <br />
studied <br />
examined <br />
inspected <br />
scrutinized <br />
perused <br />
sized up <br />
took stock of <br />
skimmed <br />
glanced through <br />
flipped through <br />
perceived <br />
discerned <br />
beheld <br />
watched for <br />
looked on <br />
eyed <br />
detected <br />
contemplated <br />
kept in sight <br />
held in view <br />
stood guard <br />
kept watch <br />
monitored <br />
<br />
<b>For "thought, remembered"</b> <br />
wondered <br />
asked herself <br />
pondered <br />
noticed <br />
reflected <br />
struck her as <br />
entertained the notion <br />
held in one's mind <br />
It occurred to her <br />
It came to her <br />
realized <br />
knew <br />
she considered. <br />
she considered this. <br />
he was tempted to <br />
brought to mind <br />
he was taken with the idea that <br />
she reasoned <br />
understood <br />
considered <br />
went over <br />
reviewed <br />
pictured <br />
featured <br />
imagined <br />
pretended <br />
hoped <br />
feared <br />
envisioned <br />
deliberated <br />
envisaged <br />
called up <br />
conjured up <br />
conceived of <br />
fancied <br />
allowed the conceit <br />
judged <br />
suspected <br />
intended <br />
expected <br />
planned <br />
concentrated <br />
mused <br />
ruminated <br />
recalled <br />
mulled over <br />
brooded over <br />
projected <br />
anticipated <br />
concluded <br />
esteemed <br />
took heed <br />
kept in mind <br />
guessed <br />
supposed <br />
formed an image of <br />
conjured <br />
hatched <br />
fabricated <br />
fashioned <br />
formulated <br />
concocted <br />
reasoned that <br />
turned it over in her mind <br />
flirted with the idea <br />
recollected <br />
bore in mind <br />
deduced <br />
inferred <br />
thought back to <br />
put her in mind of <br />
called to mind <br />
reminded her of <br />
acknowledged <br />
weighed <br />
reconsidered <br />
thought better of <br />
<br />
<b>For "felt, seemed, showed, looked like"</b> <br />
sensed <br />
had the impression <br />
understood <br />
detected <br />
seemed <br />
appeared <br />
betrayed <br />
indicated <br />
betokened <br />
foretokened <br />
revealed <br />
bespoke <br />
suggested <br />
signified <br />
connoted <br />
hinted at <br />
alluded to <br />
implied <br />
intimated <br />
presaged <br />
portended <br />
forewarned <br />
disclosed <br />
displayed <br />
lay open <br />
made manifest <br />
exposed <br />
bared <br />
struck her as <br />
looked as if <br />
looked like <br />
had the look of <br />
had every appearance of <br />
had the earmarks of <br />
resembled <br />
sounded like <br />
exhibited <br />
evidenced <br />
showed <br />
manifested <br />
emblematic of </td>
<td width="123"><b>For "touched"</b> <br />
clutched <br />
pawed <br />
gripped <br />
grasped <br />
took hold of <br />
adjusted <br />
felt <br />
manipulated <br />
maneuvered <br />
twiddled <br />
palpated <br />
palmed <br />
handled <br />
thumbed <br />
rummaged through <br />
caressed <br />
fondled <br />
stroked <br />
grazed <br />
rubbed <br />
tugged <br />
squeezed <br />
scratched <br />
pinched <br />
patted <br />
tapped <br />
tamped <br />
rapped <br />
brushed <br />
bedaubed <br />
dappled <br />
dabbed <br />
swept across <br />
scraped <br />
glanced <br />
alighted <br />
pressed <br />
wrung <br />
kneaded <br />
shoved <br />
gouged <br />
grazed <br />
prodded <br />
ticked <br />
trapped <br />
jabbed <br />
poked <br />
pressed <br />
probed <br />
goaded <br />
twisted <br />
wedged <br />
pried <br />
prized open <br />
pry/pried <br />
pulled <br />
pushed <br />
primped <br />
preened <br />
rattled <br />
pumped <br />
mangled <br />
massaged <br />
felt <br />
flattened <br />
smoothed <br />
scooped up <br />
flicked <br />
flipped <br />
flogged <br />
fondled <br />
groped <br />
handled <br />
held <br />
knifed <br />
mauled <br />
tapped <br />
drummed <br />
wiggled <br />
worked <br />
stubbed <br />
scoured <br />
scrubbed <br />
<br />
<b>For "had, held"</b> <br />
bore <br />
exhibited <br />
showed <br />
displayed <br />
betrayed <br />
wielded <br />
carried <br />
was furnished with <br />
contained <br />
wore <br />
sported <br />
spanned <br />
suspended <br />
grasped <br />
gripped <br />
clutched <br />
contained <br />
toted <br />
possessed <br />
retained <br />
embraced <br />
evinced <br />
<br />
<b>For "hit"</b> <br />
beat <br />
socked <br />
bumped <br />
clapped <br />
thumped <br />
lashed <br />
pummeled <br />
punched <br />
rammed <br />
crashed <br />
thwacked <br />
slapped <br />
smacked <br />
pumped <br />
impacted <br />
attacked <br />
hacked <br />
swiped <br />
swung <br />
trounced <br />
tackled<br />
<br />
<b>For "was, were"</b> <br />
stood <br />
sat <br />
took up <br />
perched <br />
lay <br />
hung <br />
took place <br />
contained <br />
spanned <br />
loomed <br />
occupied <br />
remained <br />
stayed <br />
persisted <br />
befell (happened) <br />
bechanced <br />
occurred <br />
happened <br />
<b>For "sat"</b> <br />
slumped <br />
eased into <br />
lowered himself <br />
sank into <br />
sat himself <br />
was seated <br />
plopped down <br />
crouched <br />
squatted <br />
hunkered down <br />
roosted <br />
perched <br />
settled <br />
straddled <br />
sat astride <br />
sat bestride <br />
reposed <br />
leaned <br />
reclined <br />
lolled <br />
lounged <br />
sprawled <br />
lodged <br />
<br />
<b>For "stood"</b> <br />
got to his feet <br />
jumped up <br />
rose <br />
rose to his feet <br />
got up <br />
remained upright <br />
held herself erect <br />
stationed herself <br />
<br />
<b>For "smelled"</b> <br />
got scent of <br />
sensed <br />
sniffed <br />
detected <br />
snuffled <br />
snorted <br />
inhaled <br />
scented <br />
snuffed <br />
breathed in <br />
savored <br />
perceived <br />
discerned <br />
reeked <br />
stunk <br />
assaulted the nostrils <br />
<br />
<b>For "tasted, drank"</b> <br />
savored <br />
relished <br />
nibbled at <br />
tried <br />
sipped <br />
gulped <br />
took a deep swallow <br />
chewed <br />
ingested <br />
ruminated <br />
sampled <br />
sank his teeth into <br />
bit into <br />
crunched <br />
melted <br />
licked <br />
slurped <br />
chugged <br />
smacked <br />
suckled <br />
sucked <br />
swigged <br />
swilled <br />
chomped <br />
ground <br />
munched <br />
gnawed <br />
rended <br />
quaffed <br />
imbibed <br />
tippled <br />
nipped <br />
supped <br />
drained <br />
washed down <br />
swilled down <br />
guzzled down <br />
lapped up <br />
soused <br />
quenched <br />
<br />
<b>For "heard"</b> <br />
overheard <br />
caught <br />
detected <br />
picked up <br />
perceived <br />
apprehended <br />
eavesdropped <br />
listened <br />
listened in <br />
gathered <br />
heard tell of <br />
strained her ears <br />
harked <br />
harkened <br />
attended to <br />
took heed of <br />
took in <br />
gave audience to <br />
gave an ear to <br />
lent an ear to <br />
heard him out <br />
within earshot <br />
out of earshot <br />
<br />
<b>For "lie down, lay"</b> <br />
reclined <br />
eased onto <br />
flopped onto <br />
lay prone <br />
lolled <br />
luxuriated <br />
lay prostrate <br />
lay recumbent <br />
lay back <br />
rested <br />
reposed <br />
lazed <br />
sprawled <br />
lounged <br />
slouched <br />
slumped <br />
<br />
<b>For "entered"</b> <br />
stepped inside <br />
went in <br />
came in <br />
sailed in <br />
burst in <br />
set foot in/on <br />
broke in <br />
forced her way in <br />
intruded <br />
penetrated <br />
passed into <br />
<br />
<b>For "left, exited"</b> <br />
ran off <br />
walked off <br />
went out <br />
departed <br />
retreated <br />
decamped <br />
deserted <br />
repaired <br />
retired <br />
withdrew <br />
quit <br />
took off <br />
fled <br />
sallied forth <br />
bowed her way out <br />
<br />
<b>For "turned"</b> <br />
wheeled around <br />
twisted to one side <br />
whirled about <br />
rotated <br />
spun on her heels <br />
pivoted <br />
revolved <br />
swiveled <br />
reeled <br />
trundled <br />
circled <br />
eddied <br />
swirled <br />
sheered <br />
veered <br />
shifted <br />
divagated <br />
angled off <br />
shunted </td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>
This list came by the courtesy of Deanna Carlyle at <a href="http://deannacarlyle.com/">deannacarlyle.com</a><br />
<br />
by<span style="font-size: 130%;"> <span style="color: maroon; font-family: times new roman;"><b><i>Bonnie S. Calhoun</i></b></span></span>Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-36030792908042204172010-03-24T11:29:00.000-04:002010-03-24T11:29:53.226-04:00Life of A Writer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_m32TlugOPkM/S6ov0YUuVoI/AAAAAAAADZ8/u4-bnvqCJnM/s1600/hell_skull.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_m32TlugOPkM/S6ov0YUuVoI/AAAAAAAADZ8/u4-bnvqCJnM/s320/hell_skull.jpg" /></a></div>A fiction writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell. She decided to check out each place first.<br />
<br />
As she descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes."Oh my," she cried. "Let me see heaven now."<br />
<br />
A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven and saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.<br />
<br />
"Wait a minute," cried the novelist. "This is just as bad as hell!"<br />
<br />
"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."<br />
<br />
by<span style="font-size: 130%;"> <span style="color: maroon; font-family: times new roman;"><b><i>Bonnie Calhoun</i></b></span></span>Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-87670223434843046652009-07-22T00:35:00.006-04:002010-07-03T22:47:35.073-04:00Anatomy of a One Sheet<img hspace="8" src="http://bonniescalhoun.com/animations/3_8_14.gif" style="float: left;" vspace="8" />I know, I know...just the thought of writing a One Sheet can cause most normally sane people to reach for a hammer in a futile attempt to destroy their computers and thus avoid the exercise. <br />
<br />
LOL...it really ranks right up there with the “<b>dreaded synopsis</b>”...but that’s another post.<br />
<br />
A one sheet is basically a full page elevator pitch. Remember learning to do an elevator pitch. It’s the three sentence version of a one sheet that you can tell a captive agent or editor on the way up or down in an elevator. *snort-giggle* (And it doesn’t count if you lean on the buttons to make the elevator keep stopping so that you can read them a whole one sheet.)<br />
<br />
The basic anatomy of a One Sheet contains enough information to pique the interest of an agent or editor. It should contain:<br />
<br />
Your contact info: name, address, phone number, email and your primary website. <br />
<br />
Stop at those and don’t embellish with an info dump including your Twitter, Facebook, or any other social networking connections. If you are word wise and have room left over when you get all the applicable data included you could add any business websites that you are involved in, but don’t forsake novel info for biographical info. You need them to be interested in the book first!<br />
<br />
Next...lay out the info for your book.<br />
<br />
The spiritual theme – usually there is a bible verse or premise in mind for the book concept.<br />
<br />
The length, genre, and availability.<br />
<br />
The concept - sometimes called a short synopsis, or <b>back cover blurb </b>– mash down the whole book into a couple sentences. Usually who, what, when , where and why works well...LOL...I got all “w’s” in there!<br />
<br />
A short <b>market analysis </b>- why would this book be a good seller, what makes it different or interesting, and/or what group of people would be interested in reading it.<br />
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And lastly, a quick comparison to one or two other books that are similar, or written in the same vein.<br />
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Here is a sample of the One Sheet that I used to get the interest of my agent, Terry Burns. This particular book has not found a home yet...but nothing comes before its time. <a href="http://bonniescalhoun.com/documents/BOOK%20PROPOSAL%20for%20Touched%20by%20Fire.pdf">One Sheet</a><br />
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Another format for a sort of One Sheet is the type that agents send to publishers called a Sell Sheet. It contains different information that the type that we as writers would hand out because this type is usually followed by a <b>full length proposal</b> (which we will talk about in another lesson.) <br />
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This is a sample of a Sell Sheet that my agent sent out on this same novel. The format contains about half author info, and half short synopsis, with a <b>log line </b>at the top. <a href="http://bonniescalhoun.com/documents/New%20touched%20by%20fire%20sell%20sheet%20_1_.pdf">Sell Sheet</a><br />
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All of the words that I have written in bold will be future discussions!<br />
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by<span style="font-size: 130%;"> <span style="color: maroon; font-family: times new roman;"><b><i>Bonnie Calhoun</i></b></span></span>Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-16551386955994619322009-07-14T21:07:00.002-04:002009-07-18T17:38:55.977-04:00CHECKLIST: For Formatting A ManuscriptHi all!<br /><br />I've garnered what I consider to be very helpful information about formatting your manuscript. This info comes from my friend and agent <a href="http://www.terryburns.net/">Terry Burns</a>. He is a multi-published novelist, and an agent at <a href="http://www.hartlineliterary.com/">Hartline Literary</a> ...LOL...so the man <span style="color:#990000;">KNOWS</span> what he is talking about!<br /><br />One large hurdle to publication is submitting a good, professional-looking proposal or manuscript to an agent or editor. The object here is not to stand out but to look like an established pro. A submission that appears the submitter does not know what he or she is doing, or that looks like it will take too much work to get ready may receive little or no attention.<br /><br />These rules cover the primary items for the formatting of the manuscript, but the submission guidelines posted by the editor or agent you are submitting to should be the guide. While it is true a manuscript might not be rejected for breaking only one of these rules (unless it's a glaring one), a combination is sure to catch attention. We have to prepare a manuscript in some manner anyway, we might as well prepare it right.<br /><br />Some of the key provisions are:<br /><br />CHECKLIST FOR FORMATTING A MANUSCRIPT<br /><br /><li>1" margins, double spaced in New Courier12 or Times New Roman 12 font – only on one side of the page. To insure a consistent number of lines per page the widow and orphans feature should be turned off.</li><br /><br /><li>Paragraphs should be indented .5 inch with <span style="color:#990000;">NO </span>space between paragraphs. They should NEVER be indented by spacing in (these have to be removed by the editor) a tab is acceptable although preferred is to go into paragraph formatting and just select first line indent.</li><br /><br /><li>One space between sentences – do <span style="color:#990000;">NOT</span> justify the right margin. If tracking changes has been used during the preparation process, these should be completely removed and not just "hidden."</li><br /><br /><li>Chapters should begin near the center of the page (16 blank lines) and a page break (not section break) should be inserted at the end so chapter heads stay put if changes are made. Chapters do not require titles. </li><br /><br /><li>There should be a header slug with author's last name, a word or two from the title and the page number in the upper left or right of the page. This should be in the header and NOT in the text so it does not move when text is changed. (click on view – then header and footer) Make sure under layout that first page different is checked so the header appears only on subsequent pages.</li><br /><br /><li>The cover page on the front should use the title in normal size type centered halfway down the page and doublespace below it your name or byline. Your name, address and contact information in the upper left or lower right. Contact information should include phone number and email address, but SHOULD NOT include social security number.</li><br /><br /><li>The word count (rounded off) should be in the upper right hand corner. Word count for many years was determined by multiplying the industry standard 250 words per page times the number of pages. Most houses now use computer word count.</li><br /><br /><li>A forced scene break (intentional white space) should be indicated by placing # centered on a line of its own.</li><br /><br /><li>Do not include drawings, colored type, fancy fonts, giant size type on the cover, or anything else to make your manuscript stand out – remember the goal is to look professional not different.</li><br /><br /><li>Italics may be indicated by underlining, although most now will just take them inserted as italics where they go.</li><br /><br /><li>Remember that regardless of what is being submitted the first paragraph or two MUST capture the interest of the reader, editor or agent by raising a question, capturing interest or arousing curiosity to cause them to commit to reading further down into the manuscript.</li><br /><br /><li>When ready to submit the proposal itself will be single spaced, but the sample chapters should be placed in the proposal retaining their formatting so the editor or agent can insure the manuscript formatting is ready to go.</li><br /><br /><li>Finally, individual places where you wish to submit may have requirements particular to how they wish to receive a submission. Always check submission guidelines usually available on their website and adhere to them religiously.</li><br /><br />by<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span>Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-81621730824513857892007-10-01T01:30:00.000-04:002007-10-13T00:55:50.118-04:00Lesson #11 - Proportion con'tby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>.<br /><br />These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br /><br />Let's continue with proportion. This does not mean that your work is textureless. There is always room for philosophical sidetrails that reveal the narrator's character, subplots that may resonate with the main plot, or forays into odd corners of background that make the fictional world more three-dimentional.<br /><br />The trick is telling the difference between digressions that harmonize with the story (even in odd and mysterious ways) and those that hang on the story like fungus!<br /><br />How do you tell...walk away from it for a week or so, and then reread it...or get a critique partner. Once you have trained yourself to see how changes in proportion affect your story, you can begin to use proportion to shape your reader's response to your plot.<br /><br />Example: If you have some plot development that you want to come as a surprise, spend less space on it before you spring it on your readers. Or you could spend as much or more space on similar plot elements to mask the really important one.<br /><br /><em><strong>CHECKLIST:</strong></em><br /><br />Take a look at your descriptions. Are the details you give the ones your viewpoint characters will notice?<br /><br />Reread your first fifty pages, paying attention to what you spend your time on. Are the characters you develop most fully important ot the ending? Do you use the locations you develop in detail later in the story? Do any of the characters play a surprising role in the ending? Could readers guess this from the amount of time you spend on them?<br /><br />Do you have tanents...little supplots or descriptions that don't advance the plot? If so, are all of them effective? If you don't have any, should you add some?<br /><br />Are you writing about your favorite topic or hobbies? If so, give careful consideration to how much time you spend on them.<br /><br />Next we will move onto Dialogue Mechanics!Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-34061518485384562432007-10-01T01:23:00.001-04:002007-10-13T00:56:13.078-04:00Lesson #10 - Proportionby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>. <br /><br />These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br /><br />Let's continue with proportion, and the problems that arise from taking seemingly small details and devoting excessive amounts of time to them.<br /><br />This sort of proportion problem has exactly the same effect on readers as excess description. When you fill in all the details and leave nothing to your readers imagination, you're patronizing them.<br /><br />This is even more true now than it was a few decades ago, when generous, detailed descriptions were the norm. It's the influence of movies and TV...readers are used to jump-cuts from scene to scene rather than long transitional shots.<br /><br />Fiction writers, in turn, are much freer to use ellipses, to leave more of the mundane, bridging action up to their readers imagination. Of course there are other things that can throw your proportions off besides simple misjudgment. Sometimes proportion problems arise when a writer is writing about his or her pet interests or hobbies.<br /><br />And yes, one of the joys of reading comes when a writer takes you through some little back alley of life that you never knew existed. But when we reached the three pages of how to kill and field-dress a beaver, the writer has gone too far...LOL!<br /><br />So how do you avoid proportion problems. In most cases, it's quite simple: pay attention!<br /><br />Most larger proportion problems can be avoided if you pay attention to your story. After all, if you spend a great deal of time on a given character or plot element for whatever reason, your readers naturally assume this element plays an important role in the story.<br /><br />So if the character you spend time on turns out to be insignificant or if you never follow up on the plot element you set up in such detail, readers are going to feel cheated.<br /><br />Continued tomorrow...Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-33064642612636337592007-10-01T01:21:00.000-04:002007-10-13T00:56:29.005-04:00Lesson #9 - POV con'tby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>. <br /><br />These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br /><br />Let's continue with Point Of View.<br /><br />Okay, so what happens when you have to shift your point of view for the sake of the plot? If say, your writing from the cop's point of view and you need to add in the burglar? How do you change the POV without jerking your readers around?<br /><br />It's quite simple: end the current scene, insert a linespace, and start a new scene from the POV you need. Linespaces prepare readers for a shift( in time, place, or POV), so the change in the POV won't catch them by surprise.<br /><br />Once you've mastered your control of narrative distance, you can use it for some stunning effects. Of all the means available to you for crafting your story, POV is one of the most fundamental. It is how you show who your characters are. It allows you to convey emotions that often can't be put across in any other way.<br /><br />POV is a powerful tool! Master it!<br /><br /><em><strong>CHECKLIST:</strong></em><br /><br />Which POV are you using and why? If you want continuing intimacy, are you using the first person? If you want distance, are you using third person, or omniscient?<br /><br />Do you move from head to head? If so, why? Would your story gain power if you stuck with a single POV character or broke your scenes up at appropraite places with linespaces to make this possible?<br /><br />Take a look at your language. Is it right for your POV character? If not, should it be?<br /><br />Look at your descriptions. Can you tell how your POV character feels about what you're describing?<br /><br />Next we'll start on Proportion...Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-58582222516263057222007-10-01T01:18:00.000-04:002007-10-13T00:56:52.179-04:00Lesson #8 - POV con'tby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>. <br /><br />These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br /><br />Let's continue with Point Of View.<br /><br />The day before yesterday, we were talking about first-person POV, now we're moving to the other end of the spectrum to the omniscient POV. Instead of being written from inside the head of one of your characters, a scene in the omniscient point of view is not written from inside anyone's head.<br /><br />So you can see the whole scene from the sidelines. Note that with the omniscient voice what you gain in perspective you lose in intimacy.<br /><br />then there is third person. If a first person invites intimacy and the omniscient narrator allows for perspective, the thirsd person strikes a balance between the two! Actually it can strike any number of balances...it's the attempt to define precisely these various degrees of intimacy versus perspective that leads to describing twenty-six different flavors of POV.<br /><br />It's much less complicated to simply treat the third-person POV as a continuum, running from narrative intimacy to narrative distance.<br /><br />Okay...so what the devil does that mean...I ask myself?<br /><br />It means that when you describe your settings and actions using only words from your POV characters vocabulary, you're not only telling the readers the facts, but but you're running those facts through your POV character's history and sensibility.<br /><br />On the other hand, when the voice of your descriptions is more sophisticated, more verbose, perhaps more acutely observant that your POV character can manage, you've put distance between the two!<br /><br />It is worth noting that, because the emotional connection between your reader and your POV character builds slowly, it's usually a good idea to establish the POV as quickly as possible...in the first sentence of the scene if you can manage it.<br /><br />When you make the POV clear at the beginning of a scene, you get your readers involved right away and let them get used to inhabiting your viewpoint character's head.Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-90053621905003355472007-10-01T01:13:00.000-04:002007-10-13T00:57:08.808-04:00Lesson #7 - POVby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>. <br /><br />These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br /><br />Let's continue with Point Of View.<br /><br />Some writing books distinguish as many as twenty-six different flavors of POV, but there are really only three basic approaches: first person, third person, and omniscient. <br /><br />The first person is the "I" voice, where all the narration is written as if the narrator were speaking directly to the readers. ("I knew as soon as I entered...")<br />Note that in first person the narrator is one of the characters, not the writer.<br /><br />The first-person POV has a number of advantages, the main one being that it gives your reader a great deal of intimacy with your viewpoint character. When you are writing in the "I" voice, your main character effortlessly invites your reader into his or her head and shows them the world through his or her eyes.<br /><br />Of course, in order to succeed in first person POV, you have to create a character strong enough and interesting enough to keep your readers going for an entire novel, yet not so eccentric or bizarre that your readers feel trapped inside his or her head.<br /><br />But realize, what you gain in intimacy with the first person...You lose in perspective! You can't write about anything your main character couldn't know, which means you have to have your main character in the spot whenever you want to write an immediate scene...This can limit your plot development possibilities!<br /><br />Also in one POV, your readers get to know only one character directly. Everyone else is filtered through your viewpoint character. One way around this is to write in the first person but from several different viewpoints...With different scenes done from inside the heads of different characters.<br /><br />This technique can be highly effective in the hands of an experienced writer. For example, over the course of Sol Stein's <em>The Best Revenge</em>, first-person sections are written from the POV's of six different characters. And Mary Gordon devotes the last section in the <em>Company of Women</em> to first-person accounts by all the major characters in turn.Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-32537272426241254762007-10-01T01:10:00.000-04:002007-10-13T00:57:30.741-04:00Lesson #6 - Expositionby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>. <br /><br />These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br /><br />Let's continue with exposition.<br /><br />Everything we've said about characterization applies to exposition as well. Backgroung, backstory, the information your readers need in order to follow and appreciate your plot...all these should be brought out as unobtrusively as possible.<br /><br />The most obtrusive type of exposition is, of course, a long discourse in the narrative voice. The same thing holds true for interior monologue.<br /><br />Perhaps the toughest expostion challenge is introducing your readers to a new culture. This could be something as simple as conveying everyday life in rural Tennessee to readers who may live in Palm Beach (or visa versa). How do you transport your readers to strange new worlds without loading down your opening with a lot of expostion?<br /><br />Bear in mind that this kind of background is really characterization, only what's being characterized is a culture rather than a person. and as was the case with characterization, readers can best learn about your locations and backgrounds not through lengthy exposition but by seeing them in real life.<br /><br /><em><strong>CheckList:</strong></em><br /><br />Look back over a scene or chapter that introduces one or more characters. How much time, if any, have you spent describing the new character? Are you telling us about characteristics that will later show up in dialogue and action?<br /><br />How about character histories? How many of your characters' childhoods have you developed in detail? Can some of these life stories be cut?<br /><br />What info (technical details, past histories, backgrounds) do your readers need in order to understand your story? At what point in the story do they need to know it?<br /><br />How are you getting this information across to your readers? Have you given it to them all at once through a short writer-to-reader lecture?<br /><br />If the exposition comes out through dialogue, is it through dialogue your character would actually speak even if your readers didn't have to know the information? In other words, does the dialogue exist only to put the information across?Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-76783399682455110022007-10-01T01:05:00.000-04:002007-10-13T00:57:47.091-04:00Lesson #5 - Characterization con't..by<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/<br />">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>. <br /><br />These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br /><br />Let's continue with characterization.<br /><br />Some writers take a more subtle approach than simply describing a new character's personality...they describe each new character's history. In the course of the story, they may even trace theri characters' ancestry back two or three generations. It is perfectly understandable that a writer should undertake this sort of historical characterization. <br /><br />Delving into a character's past can be a good way for you to understand the character in the present. but htough it may have been helpful for you to write a character's history...it may not be necessary for your readers to read it!<br /><br />One you understand a character well enough to bring him or her to life, we don't have to know where the character came from.<br /><br />So how do you go about establishing a charater gradually and unobtrusively? This topic could make a book in itself, but there are some techniques that fall within the area of fiction mechanics.<br /><br />Have one character characterized by another instead of by the writer.<br />Develop your characters through dialogue.<br />Another way is to develop a character is to write not about the character directly but about other matters from that characters viewpoint.<br /><br />Next we'll start on Exposition.Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-87638055293640775392007-10-01T01:03:00.000-04:002007-10-13T00:58:04.769-04:00Lesson #4 - Characterizationby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/<br />">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>. <br /><br />These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br /><br />Today we're going to work on characterization and Exposition.<br /><br />A lot of writers seem to feel they have to give their readers a clear understanding of a new character before they can get on with their story. They never bring a character onstage without a brief personality summary. Or else they introduce their character with flashbacks to the childhood scenes that made them who they are...In effect, psychoanalyzing the characters for their readers.<br /><br />It's often a good idea to introduce a new character with enough physical description for your readers to picture him or her. As with describing your settings, all you need are a few concrete, idiomatic details to jump-start your readers' imagination. ("A good-looking man in his fifties," for instance, is too vague to be interesting.)<br /><br />The show-and-tell principle underlies many of the self-editing points we'll talk about from now on!<br /><br />Another reason to avoid thumbnail character sketches is that the personality traits you tell us about when you introduce a character will (we would hope) eventually be shown by the way the character behaves in the story.<br /><br />Also when you sum up your characters, you risk defining them to the point that they're boxed in by the characterization with no room to grow. You may be setting boundary lines that your readers will use to interpret your characters' actions through the rest of the book.<br /><br />But if you allow your readers to get to know your characters gradually, each reader will interpret them in his or her own way, thus getting a deeper sense of who your characters are than you could ever convey in a summary.<br /><br />Finally, for today...Sketching out your characters for your readers is just plain obtrusive. It's a form of telling that is almost certain to make your readers aware that you the writer are hard at work!Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-78387444641750233552007-10-01T00:54:00.000-04:002007-10-13T00:58:22.257-04:00Lesson #3 - R.U.E.by<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/<br />">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>. <br /><br />These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br /><br />Yesterday I left you with the phrase, <em>"Remember to R.U.E."</em> <br /><br />Up to this point we've been talking about showing and telling on the large scale, about narrating what should be shown through immediate scenes. But even within scenes there are ways in which you may tell what you should show!<br /><br />From the <em>Gatsby</em>: The three Mr Mumbles leaned forward "eagerly", that one girl spoke with "enthusiasm", that a man nodded "in affirmation".<br /><br />Granted, stylistic conventions have changed since 1925, but even so, the telling detracts because it's not needed. We've already been shown what the writer proceeds to tell us.<br /><br />Telling your readers about your characters' emotions is not the best way to get your readers involved. Far better to shoe why your characters feel the way they do. Instead of saying "Amanda took one look at the hotel room and recioled in disgust," describe the room in such a way that the readers feel that disgust themselves.<br /><br />You don't want to give your readers information. You want to give them experiences.<br /><br />It's more work that way, of course. It's easier to say, "Erma was depressed" than to come up with some original bit of action or interior monologue that shows she's depressed. Like if you have her take a bite of her favorite cake and push the rest away...or polish off the whole cake. Everyone has a unique way of expressing emotion.<br /><br />It's nearly always better to resist the urge to explain. Or as editors so often write in the margins of manuscripts, R.U.E.Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-24614384763556235042007-10-01T00:53:00.001-04:002007-10-13T00:58:38.893-04:00Lesson #2 - Show and Tell con't...by<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are continuing editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/<br />">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>. <br /><br />These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but not posting a lot of good stuff!<br /><br />This is the second lesson of two days of Show and Tell. Blogger ate this post on Friday!<br /><br />We left off talking about using action rather than narration. Of course, there will be times when you need to resort to narrative summary, especially if you're writing a historical novel or science fiction, both of which usually require conveying a lot of information to your readers before you can touch their emotions.<br /><br />Even though immediate scens are almost always more engaging than narrative summary be careful when self-editing <em>not</em> to convert <em>all</em> your narrative summary into scenes.<br /><br />Narrative summary is used to vary the rhythm and texture of your writing. Scens are immediate and engaging, but scene after scene without a break can become relentless and exhausting, especially if you tend to write brief, intense scenes. Every once in a while you'll want to slow down to give your readers a chance to catch their breath.<br /><br />Narrative summary can give continuity to your story on a larger scale. It is also useful when you have a lot of repetitive action. For example, your writing about a track star participating in several races. If you show all of these races as immediate scenes, they all start looking alike! But if you summarize the first few...have them happen off stage...then the one you eventually show as a scene will have real impact.<br /><br /><em><strong>CheckList</strong></em>:<br /><br />How often do you use narrative summary? Are there long passages where nothing happens in real time? Do the main events in your plot take place in summary or in scenes?<br /><br />If you do have too much narrative summary, which sections do you want to convert into scenes? Does any of it involve major characters, where a scene could be used to flesj out their personalities? Does any of your narrative summary involve major plot twists or surprises? If so, start writing some scenes!<br /><br />Do you have <em>any</em> narrative summary, or are you bouncing from scene to scene without pausing for breath?<br /><br />Are you describing your characters' feelings? Have you <em>told</em> us they're angry? irritated? morose? discouraged? puzzled? excited? happy? elated? suicidal? Keep an eye out for any place where you mention an emotion outside of dialogue. Chances are you're telling what you should show. Remember to R.U.E.<br /><br />What is that? R.U.E. Okay...so I'll add that part in...tomorrow! Mhwahaha!Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-47001246730709698572007-10-01T00:48:00.000-04:002007-10-13T00:59:00.614-04:00Lesson #1 - Show and Tellby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s1600-h/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyuI/AAAAAAAAA6s/kMRdMM7cDK0/s200/51QHFS7MACL__AA240_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392610" /></a>Today we are starting editing lessons from the book <a href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0062700618/<br />">Self-Editing for Fiction Writers by Renni Browne and Dave King</a>. <br /><br />These lessons will be shortened overviews of the chapters and by no means should be a substitute for buying the book. I'm rereading but skipping a lot of good stuff!<br /><br />This first lesson is going to be two days of Show and Tell.<br /><br />What exactly makes a scene a scene? For one thing it takes place in real time. Your readers watch events as they unfold, whether those events are a group discussion of the merits of Woody Allen flicks, or a woman lying in a field pondering the meaning of life. In scenes, events are seen as they happen rather than described after the fact. Even flashbacks...Don't cringe...Sometimes they're necessary...Show events as they unfold, although they have unfolded in the past within the context of the story!<br /><br />Scenes also contain action, something that happens. Of course anything that can go into a scene can also be narrated. And since scenes are usually harder to write than narration, many writers rely too heavily on narrative summary to tell their stories.<br /><br />The result is often page after page, chapter after chapter of writing that reads clearly, perhaps even stylishly, but with no specific setting, no specific characters, no dialogue.<br /><br />Since engagement is exactly what a fiction writer wants to accomplish, you're well advised to rely heavily in immediate scenes to put your story across. You want to draw your readers into the world you've created, make them feel a part of it, make them forget where they are. <br /><br />And you can't do this effectively if you tell your readers about your world secondhand! You have to take them there. 'Showing' your story to your readers through scenes will not only give your writing immediacy. It will give your writing transparency. One of the easiest ways to look like an amateur is to use mechanics that direct attention to themselves and away from the story.<br /><br />Of course there will be times when you need to resort to narrative summary, especially if your writing a historical novel or scifi, both of which usually require conveying a lot of information to your readers before you can touch their emotions.<br /><br />We'll talk more about this in the next chapter, but you'd be surprised at how much exposition can be converted into scenes...right Mimi?<br /><br />That's it for today, except for the quotable quotes below! Join us again tomorrow for More Self-Editing for Fiction WritersBonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-86165180296404343512007-08-31T12:49:00.000-04:002007-10-13T15:58:02.272-04:00Lesson 37: Follow-up Checklistby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyvI/AAAAAAAAA60/vrBV16Frxy4/s1600-h/418MGZWZKVL__BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyvI/AAAAAAAAA60/vrBV16Frxy4/s200/418MGZWZKVL__BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392626" /></a>Today we continue with Donald Maass' <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/158297182X/103-4445210-2959826?v=glance&n=283155">Writing a Breakout Novel</a>. <br /><br />What I am going to endeavor to do here is present truncated versions of each of the lessons in the workbook. This will by no means suffice as an alternative to reading the book...or the workbook. I hope it piques your appetite to buy the books. They are invaluable reading and reference!<br /><br />This is a checklist of the Follow-up work taken from each exercise in the book. If you truly wish to write a breakout novel, do each piece of work ad check it off the list only when you have incorporated the results into your manuscript. There are 591 steps! The investment of time to complete this is huge...But then your ambition is huge too!<br /><br />On the left will be the follow-up, after it will be the number of tasks.<br /><br />Demonstrate heroic qualities..................6<br />Create extra character dimensions.............3<br />Make goals mutually exclusive.................1<br />Create larger-than-life moments..............12<br />Heighten speech, action, or exposition.......24<br />Reverse motives in additional scenes..........6<br />Add the opposite of ultimate commitment.......1<br />Deepen passages of exposition.................4<br />Develop a additional secondary character......5<br />Develop a secondary antagonist................5<br />Combine two more roles........................1<br />Incorporate higher stakes into the story......4<br />Incorporate damage from complications.........3<br />Develop 4 steps/scenes for two layers.........8<br />Add nodes of conjunction to the story.........6<br />Add subplots, even to first-person novel......3<br />Heighten turning points within scene.........20<br />Delineate extra turning points................6<br />Incorporate high moments......................5<br />Add bridging conflict.........................4<br />Cut "tea" (inactive or review) scenes.........1<br />Move backstory back in the manuscript.........1<br />Add tension to each page...........350 (approx)<br />Change your first line........................1<br />Change the last line..........................1<br />Freeze moments in time........................4<br />Delineate antagonist's changing view of hero..3<br />Delineate changing view of a place............2<br />Strengthen point of view.....................30<br />Delineate character traits...................48<br />Create impossible good outcome................1<br />Develop a secondary theme.....................4<br />Incorporate related problems..................2<br />Give someone the opposite problem.............1<br />Make the antagonist right.....................1<br />Add the opposite symbol.......................1<br />Reverse stockpiled story ideas................1<br />Shorten your pitch............................1<br /><br /> TOTAL TASKS..................591Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31925096.post-78794475509402565412007-08-30T12:47:00.000-04:002007-10-13T15:57:51.927-04:00Lesson 36: Outlining Your Novelby<span style="font-size:130%;"> <span style="font-family:times new roman;color:#800000;"><strong><em>Bonnie Calhoun</em></strong></span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyvI/AAAAAAAAA60/vrBV16Frxy4/s1600-h/418MGZWZKVL__BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m32TlugOPkM/RxBPJIfhyvI/AAAAAAAAA60/vrBV16Frxy4/s200/418MGZWZKVL__BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-dp-500-arrow,TopRight,45,-64_OU01_AA240_SH20_.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120679794637392626" /></a>Today we continue with Donald Maass' <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/158297182X/103-4445210-2959826?v=glance&n=283155">Writing a Breakout Novel</a>. <br /><br />What I am going to endeavor to do here is present truncated versions of each of the lessons in the workbook. This will by no means suffice as an alternative to reading the book...or the workbook. I hope it piques your appetite to buy the books. They are invaluable reading and reference!<br /><br />We're done with Plot Development, now we're moving on to General Story Techniques! <span style="color:#003300;">Today's lesson is in Appendix A: Outlining Your Novel.<br /></span><br /><br />There are pros and cons to doing an outline. Today we're pro people. The number in parenthesis after each step tells you the number of paragraphs that each step will yield. If you are able to follow the steps exactly, you will wind up with fifty paragraphs. If you then average four paragraphs per page, at the end of this process you will have the rough draft of a twelve-and-a-half page outline! Along the way you may also have found some new material for your novel itself!<br /><br /><em>Write down the answers to the following:</em><br /><br />A. <strong>Plot fundamentals</strong>.<br /><br />1. Where is your novel set, who is your main character, and what is the main problem, conflict, or goal? (1)<br />2. What does your protagonist most want, and why? (1)<br />3. What is your protagonist's second plot layer? (1)<br />4. What is your protagonist's third plot layer? (1)<br />5. What is the first subplot? (1)<br />6. What is the second subplot? (1)<br />7. Who is the most important secondary or supporting character, what is their main problem, conflict, or goal, and what do they most want? (1)<br />8. Who is the novel's antagonist, what is his main problem, conflict, or goal, and what does he most want? (1)<br /><br /><strong>B. The Middle</strong><br /><br />9. What are the five biggest steps toward the solution of your protagonist's main problem? Another was to ask that is: What are the five turning points or events that you positively cannot leave out? (Include your story's climax.) (5)<br /><br />10. What are the five most important steps toward, or away from, what your protagonist most wants? (5)<br /><br />11. What are the three most important steps (each) toward, or away from, the resolution of your first and second subplots? (6)<br /><br />12. What are the three most important steps toward, or away from, the resolution of each main problem facing your foremost secondary character and your antagonist? (6)<br /><br />13. What are the three most important steps toward, or away from, the resolution of each main problem facing your foremost secondary character and your antagonist? (6)<br /><br />C. <strong>Highlights.</strong><br /><br />14. Two moments of strong inner conflict. (2)<br /><br />15. Three larger-than-life actions. (3)<br /><br />16. Five places to heighten turning points or high moments.<br /><br />17. Two moments frozen in time. (2)<br /><br />18. Two measures of change. (2)<br /><br />19. The psychology of place with respect to the setting of the novel's climax. (1)<br /><br />20. Three dialogue snippets (3)<br /><br />21. A paragraph of resolution. (1)<br /><br />D. <strong>Putting it together</strong><br /><em>Elaborate in a paragraph what you wrote down in each of the steps above!</em>Bonnie S. Calhounhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11769607640246518804noreply@blogger.com0